A woman who checked her late husband's lottery tickets after his death discovered he had won a $10 million jackpot.
Donald Peters, 79, bought two tickets hours before his death from a heart attack at a grocery shop in Danbury, Connecticut.

But after the retired hat factory worker's death his wife, Charlotte, checked through his things and took the slips to the shop to check.

"I'm numb," the 78-year-old said as she handed in the winning ticket at the Connecticut Lottery headquarters.

The Peters children think their father would have appreciated the irony.

"He'd be very mad, he just passed away and she won a lot of money," said Brian Peters, one of the couple's three children. "He'd say: 'Figures!'"
(I'm afraid I'd say a hell of a lot more than that. I'd be spinning!)

A woman has been charged with drunk-driving after she drove to a jail to test a suspected drunk driver.
A Carson city sheriff's deputy smelled alcohol on the breath of Kathleen Cherry, 53, a contract worker for a Nevada sheriff's department.

She told him she had had one margarita before making the journey but she failed a blood test.

She's accused of failing field sobriety tests and registering a blood alcohol content over the state's legal limit, the Nevada Appeal newspaper reported.

Cherry, a phlebotomist trained to draw blood for lab tests, declined to comment after she was charged with drunk driving.
(The test to see if she was drunk was just to try and spell her occupation: phlebotomist!)

An 82-year-old Italian man who took a Viagra pill scared his wife so much she called the police.
Giovanni di Stefano, from Palermo, was so excited his wife thought he would have a heart attack and dialled 999.

"The police didn't do anything but their presence had the desired effect. He lost interest in his love life pretty quickly," said a family friend.

Terrified wife Carla, 69, told police: "He is 82-years-old and so I thought so much love could have lethal consequences." (For Who?)

KOKOMO, Ind. — A man accidentally shot himself in the groin as he was robbing a convenience store, police said.
A clerk told police a man carrying a semi-automatic handgun entered the Village Pantry Tuesday morning demanding cash and a pack of cigarettes. The clerk put the cash in a bag and as she turned to get the cigarettes, she heard the gun discharge.

Surveillance video shows the man shooting himself as he placed the gun in the waistband of his pants, police said. The clerk wasn't injured. (The gun wasn't exactly pointed at her.)

A short time later, police found 25-year-old Derrick Kosch (now nominated for village idiot) at a home with a gunshot wound to his right testicle and lower left leg. He was expected to have surgery at a hospital.
Police plan to charge him with armed robbery and felony stupid.

Try Honey for Children's Coughs

A teaspoon of honey before bed seems to calm children's coughs and help them sleep better, according to a new study that relied on parents' reports of their children's symptoms.

The folk remedy did better than cough medicine or no treatment in a three-way comparison. Honey may work by coating and soothing an irritated throat, the study authors said.

"Many families are going to relate to these findings and say that grandma was right," said lead author Dr. Ian Paul of Pennsylvania State University's College of Medicine. The research appears in December's Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine

Federal health advisers have recently warned that over-the-counter cough and cold medicines shouldn't be used in children younger than 6, and manufacturers are taking some products for babies off the market.

Three paediatricians who read the study said they would tell parents seeking alternative remedies to try honey. They noted that honey should not be given to children under age 1 because of a rare but serious risk of botulism.

For the study, researchers recruited 105 children with upper respiratory infections from a clinic in Pennsylvania. Parents were given a paper bag with a dosing device inside. Some were empty. Some contained an age-appropriate dose of honey-flavored cough medicine containing dextromethorphan. And some contained a similar dose of honey.

The parents were asked about their children's sleep and cough symptoms, once before the bedtime treatment and once after. They rated the symptoms on a seven-point scale.

All of the children got better, but honey consistently scored best in parents' rating of their children's cough symptoms.

"Give them a little time and they'll get better," said Pat Jackson Allen, a professor at Yale University School of Nursing.

The study was funded by a grant from the National Honey Board, an industry-funded agency of the U.S. Department of Agriculture. The agency had no influence over the study design, data or results, Paul said.

Welcome to America ...
American immigration officers are to get charm lessons from Mickey and Minnie.

In order to lure back tourists put off by their sometimes-intimidating welcome, they will be given tips from the creators of Mickey Mouse. A survey has revealed 70 per cent of those who have dropped the US as a destination cite an aggressive reception as the reason.

But now officials are responding to criticism of the reception visitors have received by employing Disney's recipe for tirelessly upbeat and helpful customer service. It is an attempt to get the free-spending tourists back, particularly with the US dollar at such a low exchange rate.

A spokeswoman for US Immigration and Customs Enforcement confirmed that officers will be taught the secrets of Disney theme parks by learning how to welcome visitors, manage large queues and respond to 'negative reaction' from the public without letting their smiles slip.

A Wilderness Experience – On my last visit to the US, I presented my US passport to the immigration officer, she looked it over thoroughly, checked what she had to check, handed it back and said; "Welcome Home."

Upon my return to New Zealand, I presented my US passport to the immigration officer, she looked it over thoroughly, checked my Returning Resident's Visa, handed it back and said; "Welcome Home."

How very nice it was to hear those words when entering both countries. These people have a very important and thankless job. I suspect that much of the time, a more thoughtful and patient travelling public would help more than Mickey or Minnie ever could.

First Law of Plane Travel: The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to anyone, ever.

Go ahead, you can read this if you try:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

In matters of style swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Jefferson

The balance of nature is ruined by the fact that stupidity does not hurt. - Wilderness Wally

Sometimes you can observe a lot just by watching. - Yogi Berra

I had amnesia once... or twice.

American Indian tradition tells that God created the world and all the beasts in it; and then He created man. He was so disappointed that man wasn't perfect he caused a chasm to open up to separate man from all the other creatures.

The Dog watched man moving away across the ever-widening gap, then, at the last moment, he jumped across the abyss to stand beside man and become his loyal companion forever onwards.

My doctor said; "You're over weight.
I said; "I'd like a second opinion"
He said; "OK you're ugly too."